Sometimes sex isn't enough…
5 Ways to Increase Intimacy During Sex
The words sex and intimacy are often used interchangeably, but they mean very different things. Sometimes we crave the physical connection of sex, but want to avoid intimacy at all costs. Or, for some, they want intimacy but are shy about sex. There's a quote I heard once that I couldn't find despite the vast reach of google. It goes something like this, "sometimes I get so lonely sleeping with you." Below are five ways to radically increase the intimacy in your sex life--you'll find that with increased intimacy comes an increase in pleasure. Trust me…I'm the Temptress.
1. Shh…say nothing. True intimacy between lovers comes from connectedness. We may think this involves the sharing of secrets, which is true, but for the nature of this practice…shh…be very quiet. Set a time to meet your lover in the bedroom with the agreement that you won't speak. Perhaps set the scene with candles and music. This is an opportunity let our stories fall away--as individuals and couples--making room for a deep, non-verbal, energetic connection.
2. Slow it waaaaaay down. Sometimes the "banging" of sex discourages the "being" of intimacy. We live in a fast-paced world of schedules and constant connectedness from social media. Know that during this hour together, it is only the two of you in that room. You're in your own world together. Savor every movement, every look, every caress, every kiss.
3. Undress each other. It doesn't matter if it's your first time with a new lover or if you've been together for years, the act of giving your body to another is a gift. Why rush it? Take turns removing one article of clothing at a time. Kiss each part of the body revealed. Don't let modesty or habit stop you from enjoying each other.
4. Sync your breathing. This is a Tantric trick I've read about and it's very sexy to do with a partner. Hey, if Sting can do it…why not you? In Tantra it's called "match breath." Start with a simple embrace and spend a few minutes slowing and synchronizing your breath. Silently negotiate a rhythm that is comfortable for both of you. Pause at the top of each inhale and exhale. Try to maintain this rhythm as sex unfolds.
5. Keep your eyes open. Extended eye contact reveals vulnerability. It's nearly impossible to keep your eyes open during an orgasm, but experiment with trying it.
Intimacy deepens the sexual experience. Try it. You may find that it deepens your relationship in all areas.
Have fun! XXOO