Tuesday, September 9, 2014

Red Flags a Woman Can't Ignore #dating #relationships #love

Dating cues that scream "get out now!" 
I'm Amber Lea Easton, aka The Temptress, and I'm here to have some fun. I hope you are, too. I'm a romantic suspense and contemporary romance author who enjoys pushing boundaries. Nothing turns me on more than making my readers squirm with tension from a suspenseful storyline or sensuous seduction scene. I may not write erotica per se, but I get the job done, baby! When I think of temptation, I automatically smile. The word alone makes me think of decadence, impulse, exploration, laughter, and boldness. On Tempt Me Tuesdays, I intend to delve into all of those elements of temptation with lighthearted glee! I enjoy comments on my blog posts, so please interact as often as possible. Let's have some fun together!
As someone who's recently returned to the dating scene--and have many women friends who have horror stories about the process--I've made a mental note of the kinds of men to avoid. There may be a lot of fish in the sea, but there are also a lot of sharks in the water. Here are my top red flags that are serious signs that you're wasting your time and it's best to move along:

  1. "Let's get it on" comes before "where did you grow up" is a serious issue. If on the first date, he's only interested in ripping your clothes off rather than knowing anything about you at all, he does not want to date you. He wants to screw you. Big difference. Now, knowing that he's all hot and bothered for you may turn you on, but know that he won't be likely to call you again for anything more than a booty call. Is that really what you're looking for?
  2. He makes you feel less than special. C'mon, a boyfriend is supposed to treat you like you're more special than the girl next door or the woman who cleans his house. If he's not making you feel that you're beautiful, smart, funny, sexy, or unique, then why bother? In fact, if he's not making you feel special, then I bet he's making you feel less than good. Get out. You deserve better.
  3. He raves about another woman. Whether it's his ex, his coworker, the woman he met at the doctor, whoever she is, if he's talking to you about her over and over again, it's reasonable to assume he's simply not that into you and thinks he can do better. Guess what? So can you. 
  4. When his phone rings, he acts like he's suddenly James Bond taking a top secret call. If he's getting calls in the middle of the night or answers his phone so fast in the hopes you won't see the caller ID, it's right to assume he's seeing someone else. The amount of secret texts usually coincide with the number of other women he's seeing. 
  5. He's lazy in bed. If you're doing all the work in bed and he either rarely or never reciprocates, then the chances are you'll be doing most of the work in other areas of your relationship as well. 
  6. He doesn't fight fair or avoids direct confrontation all together. Relationships always have disagreements, but a sign of a healthy partnership is learning to argue fairly and directly. If his idea of fighting is to call you "crazy", attack you on a personal level, or divert the attention away from himself, he's not mature enough to handle a serious relationship. Also, if he constantly texts you relationship issues rather than speaking to you face-to-face, he's more comfortable hiding behind technology than handling interpersonal relationships. 
  7. He's too clingy. Healthy relationships involve two independent people coming together because of choice rather than necessity. If he's needing you to navigate every single moment of each day with him and doesn't seem to have any life of his own, you need to decide if you want to be his girlfriend/wife/partner or a compass. 
  8. He's never around when you need him most. Let's face it. Life isn't a bed of roses all of the time. You'll experience the loss of a pet, your parents, a friend or whatever one day. The main reason a long term boyfriend is a good thing is so that you don't need to face those ups and downs alone. If he ghosts when things get rough only to resurface again when all is well, he's not the guy you need. 
  9. He likes his secrets. If you've been seeing him for months, but still haven't seen where he lives, it's time to be suspicious. If he avoids topics like his job, childhood, past, family, etcetera, then why is he dating you? The purpose of dating is to get to know someone, develop intimacy that goes beyond sex, and hopefully discover a life partner. If he's keeping a tight lid on personal details even after you've been seeing him for awhile, it's time to end it. Who knows what he is hiding--a wife, a criminal record, or psychotic tendencies? Unfortunately, I'm not being paranoid. This stuff happens. Best to know who you're dealing with instead of being blindsided later. 
Those are a few red flags that should make you run for the exit. Some may say I'm too independent for my own good, but you know what? I'm not. I think every woman needs to be happy with herself, know what she wants out of life, and set a standard for people she allows close. Settling for "Mr. Right Now" may make you miss out on "Mr. Right for Forever." 

Amazon Author Page viewAuthor.at/AmberLeaEaston

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